{ Quotes }
Note: These quotes are naturally found everywhere at official sites such as the Internet Movie Database or fans in general repeating them for fun. Not only did I add the quotes, I also added a small photo or two from the scene they came from. Deciding to go in chronological order of the movie, this, my friends, was no easy task! If you wish to add something or find an error in any of these quotes, please e-mail me. Thank you!
Olivia Flaversham: (first lines) You know, Daddy, this is my very best birthday!
Hiram Flaversham: Ah, but I haven't given you your present yet.
Dr. Dawson: (voice-over narration) It was the eve of our beloved Queen's Diamond Jubilee, and the year Her Majesty's government came to the very brink of disaster. She... But I'm getting ahead of myself. My name is Doctor David Q. Dawson, most recently of the Queen's 66th regiment. I had just returned to London after a lengthy service in Afghanistan, and was looking for a place to stay, preferably dry where I could rest and find a bit of peace. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever.
Basil: Basil of Baker Street, my good fellow.
Dr. Dawson: How the deuce did you know I was a doctor?
Basil: A surgeon to be exact. Just returned from military duty in Afghanistan. Am I right?
Dr. Dawson: Why, ha, ha, yes. Major David Q. Dawson. But how could you possibly...?
Basil: Quite simple, really. You've sewn your torn cuff together with a Lambert stitch, which, of course, only a surgeon uses. And the thread is a unique form of cat-gut, easily distinguished by its peculiar pungency, found only in the Afghan provinces.
Dr. Dawson: Amazing!
Basil: Actually, it's elementary, my dear Dawson.
Olivia Flaversham: Now will you please listen to me? My daddy's gone and I'm all alone.
Basil: Young lady, this is a most inopportune time. (resumes playing violin) Surely your mother knows where he is.
Olivia Flaversham: I...I don't have a mother.
Basil: (cringes and screeches on the violin strings) Well, um...then perhaps...see here! I simply have no time for lost fathers.
Olivia Flaversham: I didn't lose him. He was taken by a bat.
Basil: Did you say bat?
Olivia Flaversham: Yes.
Basil: Did he have a crippled wing?
Olivia Flaversham: I don't know, but he had a peg leg.
Basil: Ha!
Dr. Dawson: I say, do you know him?
Basil: Know him? That bat, one Fidget by name, is in the employ of the very fiend that was the target of my experiment! The horror of my every waking moment. The nefarious Professor Ratigan!
Dr. Dawson: Ratigan?
Basil: He's a genius, Dawson. A genius twisted for evil. The Napoleon of crime!
Dr. Dawson: As bad as all that, eh?
Basil: Worse! For years I've tried to capture him, and I've come close, so very close, but each time he's narrowly evaded my grasp! Not a corner of London is safe while Ratigan is at large. There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct. No depravity he wouldn't commit. Who knows what dastardly scheme that villain may be plotting even as we speak.
Hiram Flaversham: You can do what you want with me. I won't be a part of this-this...this evil any longer!
Ratigan: Oh, very well, if that is your decision. (pulls out Olivia's toy ballerina and winds it up) Oh, by the way, I'm taking the liberty of having your daughter brought here.
Hiram Flaversham: O...Olivia?
Ratigan: Yes. I would spend many a sleepless night if anything unfortunate were to befall her.
Hiram Flaversham: You...you wouldn't!
(Ratigan crushes the ballerina in his hand and looks forlornly at it, then at Flaversham)
Ratigan: Finish it, Flaversham!
Ratigan: Oh, I love it when I'm nasty. Fidget? (Fidget is found snoring upside down) FIDGET! (Fidget wakes up and falls to the ground) Bright and alert as always. Here's the list. You know what to do and no mistakes!
Fidget: No-no-no mistakes. Tools, gears, girl, uniforms...
Ratigan: NOW, FIDGET!
Fidget: I'm going, I'm going, I'm going! (runs off)
Ratigan: My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious, the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career. A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy! (his henchmen cheer) Tomorrow evening, our beloved monarch celebrates her Diamond Jubilee. And with the enthusiastic help of our good friend, Mr. Flaversham...(his henchmen quietly chuckle) it promises to be a night she'll never forget. (Ratigan burns the picture of the queen with his cigarette) Her last night, and my first as supreme ruler of all mousedom!
(the henchmen cheer as Ratigan reviews his illustrious career)
Ratigan: Thank you, thank you. But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective, Basil of Baker Street!
Henchmen: Boo!
Ratigan: For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans. I haven't had a moment's peace of mind.
Henchmen: Aww...
Bartholomew: (sobs loudly)
Ratigan: But, all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!
Henchmen: (singing, "The World's Greatest Criminal Mind") Oh Ratigan, oh Ratigan / You're tops, and that's that / To Ratigan, to Ratigan...
Bartholomew: To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat! Hic!
(Ratigan does a spit take while the henchmen gasp and pause)
Ratigan: What was that?
Bartholomew: Hic!
Ratigan: What did you call me?
Henchmen: Oh, he didn't mean it, professor!
Henchman #2: It... it was just a slip of the tongue.
Ratigan: I am not a rat!
Henchman #3: Course you're not.
Thug Guard: You're a mouse.
Henchman #2: Yeah, a-a big mouse.
Ratigan: Silence!
Ratigan: Oh, my dear Bartholomew. I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me.
Ratigan: Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy's little honey-bun enjoy her tasty treat? (Felicia burps in his face)
Basil:This case is most intriguing with its multiplicity of elements...its many twists and turns.
Dr. Dawson: Scoundrel's quite gone.
Basil: Ah ah ah, but not for long, Miss Flamhammer.
Olivia Flaversham: Flaversham!
Basil: Whatever.
Sherlock Holmes: I observe that there is a good deal of German music on the program. It is quite introspective and I want to introspect.
Dr. Watson: But, Holmes, that music is so frightfully dull.
Basil: Miss Flamchester!
Olivia Flaversham, Dr. Dawson: Flaversham!
Basil: Whatever.
Basil: Now, Toby, sit! (Toby doesn't sit. Basil walks over and points sternly) Toby...sit! (no reaction) Olivia Flaversham: Sit, Toby!
(Toby sits)
Basil: (glares at Olivia) Good boy...
Basil: (pointing to a pinhole in a glass on the toy shop window) Aha! Here is our friend's entrance.
Dr. Dawson: Bu-but, Basil, how could he fit in through such a tiny...?
Basil: Observe, doctor.
(he plugs Dawson's finger into the hole. As he pulls it away, the glass slides open)
Dr. Dawson: Basil, you astound me!
Dr. Dawson: Oh, my! Upon my word. I've never seen so many toys.
Basil: Behind any of which could lurk a blood-thirsty assassin! So, please, doctor, be very careful.
Basil: Don't worry, old fellow. It's not *entirely* hopeless.
Basil: There's always a chance, doctor, as long as one can think.
Fidget: (after Olivia has stomped on his foot) Ow! My foot! My only foot!
Ratigan: Ah, the uniforms! Oh, Fidget, I knew I could rely on you. Now, you didn't forget anything?
Fidget: No problem. I took care of everything. Everything on the list...(reaches into his wing pocket, but the list is gone) Uh-oh.
Ratigan: What's wrong?
Fidget: The list...I know...
Ratigan: Where's the list?
Fidget: The list, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you see, uh, it was like this. I was in the toy store getting uniforms when I heard "A-roo, a-roo."
Ratigan: (getting annoyed) You're not coming through.
Fidget: A dog came! I ran! I had baby bonnet, girl in bag, and Basil ch-chased me.
Ratigan: What? Basil on the case? Why, you gibbering, little...hm...hm...HMMMMM! (restrains himself as Fidget cowers. He suddenly calms down with a chuckle) Oh, my dear Fidget. You have been hanging upside down too long. (he lovingly scoops up Fidget and walks toward Felicia's lair)
Fidget: You mean you're not mad? I'm glad you're taking it so well.
(Ratigan rings the dinner bell to summon Felicia. A scream is soon heard)
Fidget: (while being eaten) Aaaah! Not me, you idiot! No, stop, you stupid fur ball! Open up! Open up! Ai, ai, ai! Oh, ow! You're hurting my wings!
Ratigan: (rubbing his forehead) How dare that idiot Basil poke his stupid nose into my wonderful scheme and foul up everything!
Ratigan: Fidget, you delightful little maniac. You've provided me with a singular opportunity. Poor Basil. Oh, he's in for a little surprise.
Basil: (While reading Fidget's shopping list) Offhand, I can deduce very little. Only that the words are written with a broad-tip quill pen which has spattered, twice; that the paper is of native Mongolia manufacture, no watermark; and has (smacks his lips against the paper) been gummed, if I'm not very much in error... (smells the paper) by a bat who has been drinking Rodent's Delight, a cheap brandy served only in the seediest pubs.
Dr. Dawson: Hmm. Amazing.
Basil: Oh, not really, doctor. We still don't know where it came from. Perhaps a closer inspection will tell us something. (looks at the note under microscope) Mm, hm. Coal dust, clearly of the type used in sewer lamps. (takes the note and sets it on fire)
Dr. Dawson: Uh, but Basil, I- I-
Basil: Shhh. Don't speak. (he grinds the ashes in a crucible and pours them into a beaker) Excuse me, doctor. (takes beaker and a bottle of red liquid) Steady hand...(pours a drop into beaker and sets it at the other end of a pipe; he boils a liquid on the other end, watching as it goes through the pipe) Yes, yes. Good, good. Come along, come along, come along, come along. Come along, come along, come along come along....Haha...yes, yes, good, good. No, bad. Good, good, oh, no. Come along, come on. Yes, come on. (the liquid finally reaches beaker; chemical explodes) Aha! We've done it, old fellow! This chemical reaction could only be triggered by the paper's extreme saturation with distillation of sodium chloride.
Dr. Dawson: Salt water? Great Scott.
Basil: It proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, this note came from the riverfront area. (he pins a map of the river on the wall)
Dr. Dawson: Now, steady on, Basil...
Basil: No, it's elementary, Dawson. We simply look for a seedy pub at the only spot...(he pins a dart onto a location on the map)...where the sewer connects with the riverfront.
Basil: (grabs him by the shirt) Remember, Dawson, we're low-life ruffians.
Dr. Dawson: Well, I was until that--
Basil: Shh!
Bar Maid: What's your pleasure, mates??
Dr. Dawson: Uh...I'll have a dry sherry with...oh perhaps a twist of-- (Basil slaps a hand to Dawson's mouth)
Basil: (in a rough-sounding accent) Two pints for me and my shipmate. Oh, by the way. We just got into port. We're looking for an old friend of mine. Maybe you know him. Goes by the name...of Ratigan!
(everyone at the bar gasps and turn to Basil)
Bar Maid: I...never heard of him.
Basil: Dawson, these drinks have been...drugged!
(Dawson has drunken his entire mug)
Dr. Dawson: (drunkenly) Has a rather nice bite to it.
Basil: Ah-ha, Dawson! We've found it! Ratigan's secret lair! And it's filthier than I imagined.
Ratigan: Bravo! Bravo! A marvelous performance! Though frankly, I expected you fifteen minutes earlier. Heh heh. Trouble with the chemistry set, old boy?
Basil: Ratigan, no one can have a higher opinion of you than I have, and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
Basil: (enraged) Ratigan, so help me, I'll see you behind bars yet!
Ratigan: (face gets close to Basil's) You fool! (grabs Basil by the collar and lifts him off the ground) Isn't it clear to you? The superior mind has triumphed! I've won! (laughs evilly)
Ratigan: You don't know what a delightful dilemma it was, trying to decide on the most appropriate method for your demise. Oh, I had so many ingenious ideas I didn't know which to choose. So I decided to use them all. Marvelous, isn't it? Oh, ho...but, here, let me show you how it works. Picture this, first, a sprightly tune I've recorded especially for you. As the song plays, the cord tightens, and when the song ends, the metal ball is released, rolling along its merry way until...(points at mousetrap) Slap! (points at gun) Boom! (points at crossbow) Twang! (points at axe) Thunk! (points at anvil) SPLAT! And so ends the short, undistinguished career of Basil of Baker Street.
Dr. Dawson: You're... despicable!
Ratigan: Hehe...yes.
Ratigan: Now, you will remember to smile for the camera, won't you? Hmm? Say, "Cheese."
Dr. Dawson: You fiend!
Ratigan: Sorry, chubby. You should have chosen your friends more carefully.
Dr. Dawson: What-what-what did he mean an engagement at Buckingham Palace?
Basil: Haven't you figured it out yet, doctor? The queen's in danger and the empire's doomed.
Dr. Dawson: (alarmed) The queen?
Fidget: Here you are, sweetheart.
Queen Moustoria: Have you... been with us...long?
Dr. Dawson: Dash it all, Basil! The queen's in danger, Olivia's counting on us, we're about to be horribly splatted and all you can do is lie there feeling sorry for yourself. Well, I know you can save us, but if you've given up then why don't we just set it off now and be done with it?
Basil: (feebly) Heh. "Set it off now." Heh. (eyes widen) Set it...off... now? Ye...Yeah! Ha ha! Yes! We- we'll set the trap off now!
Basil: (pulls Dawson and Olivia close to pose for the camera) Smile, everyone!
Basil: (points up to Toby) The game's afoot, Toby! Our queen is in mortal danger!
Ratigan: (reading a list of newly devised laws) Item 96: A heavy tax shall be levied against all parasites and spongers, such as the elderly, the infirm, and especially little children.
Ratigan: I have the power!
Robot Queen: Of course you do.
Ratigan: I am supreme!
Robot Queen: Only you.
Ratigan: This is my kingdom! (maniacal laughter) That is, of course, with your highness' permission.
(the robot turns idle; Ratigan slaps it to start it again)
Robot Queen: Most assuredly... you insidious fiend.
Ratigan: What?
Robot Queen: You're not my royal consort!
Ratigan: (to the crowd) Such a sense of humour.
Robot Queen: You're a cheap fraud and impostor!
Ratigan: (under breath) Flaversham!
Basil: (operating the robot) A corrupt, vicious, demented, lowlife scoundrel. There's no evil scheme you wouldn't concoct.
(the robot goes berserk and falls apart)
Robot Queen: No depravity you wouldn't commit. You, professor, are none other than a foul stenchus rodentus, commonly known as a...
Ratigan: Don't say it!
Basil: (appears from behind the curtain, pointing at Ratigan) ...Sewer rat!
Olivia: Just wait! Basil's smarter than you! He's going to put you in jail. (tugs on his tail) He's not afraid of a big, old, ugly, rat like you!
Ratigan: (taking his tail back) Would you kindly sit down and SHUT UP!
(Fidget gets tired of pedaling Ratigan's airship)
Fidget: (gesturing at Olivia) We have to lighten the load.
Ratigan: Oh, you want to lighten the load? Excellent idea!
(grabs Fidget and throws him overboard)
Fidget: No! Not me! Wait, I can't fly! I can't fly!
Ratigan: There's no escape this time Basil!
Ratigan: (standing atop Big Ben after Basil had fallen) I've won! Ha ha ha!
Basil: (hanging with one hand holding to the propeller of the dirigible) On the contrary! The game's not over yet! (rings Ratigan's bell just as the clock strikes 10:00)
Dawson: To be thanked by the queen herself. Oh how very thrilling, eh, Basil?
Basil: (placing Ratigan's bell on the mantle) All in a day's work doctor.
Olivia Flaversham: (embraces Basil) Goodbye, Basil. (sniffles) I...I'll never forget you.
Basil: Nor I you, Miss... Miss Flangerhanger.
Dr. Dawson: Well, it's time I was on my way too.
Basil: But... umm... but I thought...
Dr. Dawson: Well, the case is over, and perhaps... well perhaps it's best I found my own living quarters.
Basil: But... (there is a knock on door) Oh, now who could that be?
(Dawson opens door to reveal a lady mouse dressed in green)
Lady Mouse: Is this the home of the famous Basil of Baker Street?
Dr. Dawson: Indeed it is, miss. You look as if you're in some kind of trouble.
Lady Mouse: (starts to cry) Oh, I am. I am.
Dr. Dawson: Then you have come to precisely the right place.
Basil: Ah, allow me to introduce my trusted associate, Dr. Dawson, with whom I do all of my cases. Isn't that right, doctor?
Dr. Dawson: Oh? Why, yes. By all means.
Basil: As you can see, Dawson, this young lady has just arrived from the Hampstead district and is troubled about the mysterious disappearance of an emerald ring missing from the third finger of her right hand. Now, tell me your story, and pray, be precise.
Dr. Dawson: (last lines in voice-over narration) From that time on, Basil and I were a close team. We had many cases together, but I'll always look back on that first with the most fondness; my introduction to Basil of Baker Street, the Great Mouse Detective.
